By Jason Jones

I should have known. I really should have. When was the last time the Oscars got it right anyway? I don’t know, but it’s been awhile. Maybe with “Titanic”, but who knows. This year seemed like they were going to screw it up again, but then events towards the end of the show made it seem as if the Academy voters were going to extract themselves from the rectal cavity of “Gladiator” and do the right thing after all.

Boy was I wrong! The false hope came in the form of Stephen Gaghan winning adapted screenplay for “Traffic”, Cameron Crowe taking original screenplay honors for “Almost Famous” and the biggest shock of the night, Steven Soderbergh taking home a much deserved best director award for “Traffic”. I couldn’t believe it. They had gotten three in a row right! When was the last time this happened?!? After Soderbergh’s win, I had high hopes that they were going to actually give the best picture to a deserving film such as “Traffic”. Boy was I in another world. We’re going to give it to “Gladiator” instead of giving it to a film that has an important message behind it.

Don’t get me wrong. I like “Gladiator”. I really do. It’s a well done popcorn film with some wonderful performances (but not that wonderful). It is a pretty good film that had no right being anywhere near the stage on Oscar night. I can name at least ten films that were better this past year and I think I will. “Quills”, “Wonder Boys”, “Requiem For a Dream”, “Traffic”, “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, “Almost Famous”, “Space Cowboys”, “Dr. T. & The Women”, “Erin Brockovich”, “The Patriot” are just ten of the many that were better films than “Gladiator”.

The crowning of “Gladiator” as the best picture of 2000 is the lone reason why people will look back on the body of films from 2000 as nothing more than a joke. This is totally unfounded and something I have been thinking about a bit lately. I actually think, hang onto your butts, that 2000 may have been a better year than 1999, but that salvo will be held back until I unleash my best of 2000 list, which will be arriving before too long.

I guess there were some other awards handed out on Oscar night, which felt more like career recognition night than rewarding the best of the best. I figure I will go through each of the major categories and tell you who won and who I thought should have won. That sounds like fun.

BEST ACTOR

Javier Bardem (”Before Night Falls”)
Russell Crowe (”Gladiator”)
Tom Hanks (”Cast Away”)
Ed Harris (”Pollock”)
Geoffrey Rush (”Quills”)

This one really irritated me. Somehow the Academy, in their infinite wisdom, bestowed this award on Crowe. WHY?!?!? The only reason I can think of is that this is the Academy’s way of saying, “Sorry Russell. We screwed up last year by not giving you the award for your performance in “The Insider” (which was an Oscar worthy performance).” That is the only notion I have as to why and how they could give it to some fool going around saying “I am Maximus. Hear me roar!” over the likes of the other nominees in the category. Rush was nothing short of brilliant in “Quills”. He is the Marquis De Sade, but maybe he was a little too much for the academy in terms of his running about in little to no clothing for a large portion of the film. Piss on them! Rush rules!!! Hanks also delivered a fine performance that was augmented by the back and forth he had with a mere volleyball that took on a life of it’s own through Hanks’ grounded acting. The other two performances (by Bardem and Harris) I have not had the privilege of seeing yet, but I need to. Just based on the clips I saw of their performances on Oscar night I would have handed either of them the little gold guy over Crowe.

BEST ACTRESS

Joan Allen (”The Contender”)
Juliette Binoche (”Chocolat”)
Ellen Burstyn (”Requiem For a Dream”)
Laura Linney (”You Can Count On Me”)
Julia Roberts (”Erin Brockovich”)

This category was the only sure thing of the evening, but the sure thing was not the right thing. Julia was great in “Erin Brockovich”. Hell, I even championed her cause for the better part of last year. That was before I saw Ellen Burstyn wither away before my very eyes in “Requiem For a Dream”. It was then that I knew I had seen the BEST PERFORMANCE of 2000. There is not a flaw to be found in her performance. She takes what has to be one of the most difficult, demanding, and degrading roles ever assumed by a woman of her stature and makes it into something that is beautiful to behold, but horrifying to watch. Aside from Ellen, Joan Allen also gave her usual brilliant performance in “The Contender”. If it were not for Ellen, Joan would have been the most deserving in my eyes. Laura Linney is always great and although I haven’t seen “You Can Count On Me” yet, after seeing a clip of her performance I think I can justify saying that she deserved to be among the nominees. That is something I cannot say for Juliette Binoche, the Miramax ice princess who was here for reasons unbeknownst to myself and the majority of the cinematic world for her performance in the Oscar bait fairy tale that is “Chocolat”. Lastly, Julia, the next time you win an award could you not be quite so longwinded? As you droned on it seemed as if you were saying “I make $20 million for every movie I make, so you will listen to everything I have to say.” I think that anybody else, with the possible exception of Tom Hanks, would have had the music cued on them after about a minute and a half, but she managed to ramble for three and a half! Plus, if Tom had won, I’m thinking he would have had the class to wrap it up within an appropriate amount of time. Not good Julia, not good.

BEST DIRECTOR

Stephen Daldry (”Billy Elliot”)
Ang Lee (”Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”)
Ridley Scott (”Gladiator”)
Steven Soderbergh (”Erin Brockovich”)
Steven Soderbergh (”Traffic”)

This one floored me. I couldn’t believe they got it right. I expected another Ang Lee win, which wouldn’t have been a bad thing, but it wouldn’t have been the right thing. This was Soderbergh’s year and I was very happy to see him rightfully rewarded for his directorial masterpiece, “Traffic”. It was also fun to watch Ridley Scott sink in his chair and look constipated, after Soderbergh’s name was announced, due to his realization that he was not going to walk on stage. I bet he was wishing that he had been a producer at that point. Oh yeah, there was that Stephen Daldry clown who made that manipulative jingoist piece of crap that goes by the name of “Billy Elliot”. I don’t care about your movie and I don’t plan on ever having to put myself through seeing it. Make something I give a shit about next time.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Jeff Bridges (”The Contender”)
Willem Dafoe (”Shadow of the Vampire”)
Albert Finney (”Erin Brockovich”)
Joaquin Phoenix (”Gladiator”)
Benicio Del Toro (”Traffic”)

I have no complaints about the selection of Del Toro in this category. I was slightly pulling for Dafoe to win, but I would have been more than happy with any one of these distinguished gentlemen taking home the award.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Judi Dench (”Chocolat”)
Marcia Gay Harden (”Pollock”)
Kate Hudson (”Almost Famous”)
Frances McDormand (”Almost Famous”)
Julie Walters (”Billy Elliot”)

This was probably the biggest shocker of the night. Oscar pundits had been proclaiming Kate Hudson the winner for weeks in advance. This I could not understand. I thought “Almost Famous” was great, but not because of Kate. I thought she merely held her own and I can’t say that she would have been on my list of nominees for the past year. Thankfully the Academy stepped up and gave it to a fine actress, in a little known film, by the name of Marcia Gay Harden. I haven’t seen “Pollock” yet, but judging by the clips I’ve seen I’m sure she’s great in it and well deserving of the award. I was pulling for Frances McDormand in this category, but I have no complaints with the outcome. I’m just happy that the Academy brushed aside the pretentious Oscar-bait performances of Julie Walters and Judi Dench. The way things have gone in recent years I think Judi Dench could garner a nomination for taking a shit. Watch for her next year in “The Outhouse Rules”. If only the next Miramax turd in the pipe were so aptly named.

Other things that didn’t completely piss me off, but irritated me nonetheless include:

1. “Gladiator” beating out “Quills” for costume design.

2. “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” beating out “Quills” for art direction.

3. “Gladiator” losing the one category I felt it should win, best score, to “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”.

4. “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” beating out the often overlooked Mel Gibson revolutionary war drama “The Patriot” for best cinematography.

5. “The Grinch” beating out “The Cell” and “Shadow of the Vampire” for best makeup.

6. “Gladiator” by some stretch of the imagination taking the visual effects award from “Hollow Man”.

7. Last, but certainly not least, “U-571″ beating “Space Cowboys” for sound editing. This violates the first rule of Oscar balloting “Thou shalt not vote against Clint!”

Well, that’s about it. Once again the Oscars have irritated me in untold ways, but at least they got a few things right this year. Maybe this is a trend that will continue in years to come. I hope that is so, but I am not going to hold my breath. Instead it is much more likely that I will be impersonating Colonel Kurtz from “Apocalypse Now” come Oscar night next year. I can hear him, as “Gladiator” was announced as the best picture winner, saying those words that are his and his alone.

“The horror.”

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By Jason Jones

1999 was an amazing year in the realm of cinema. Week after week we had something new and exciting to behold. It was truly an amazing time. A time that has most definitely passed. At least for the time being anyway. The year 2000, to this point, is a clear indicator that we were fortunate enough to live through a truly special year in film.

So why am I just now finally assembling my top ten list for 1999 in the early days of October 2000 you ask? There are a number of reasons:

1. I am lazy as Hell.
2. I had forgotten about it until Dale slung his Top Ten into my Inbox one day.
3. I wanted to make sure I had seen everything worth seeing before assembling the list to end all lists.
4. That’s just the kind of prick I am.

There are probably more excuses that I could trouble with, but like somebody once said “Excuses are like assholes. Everybody’s got one.”

So without wasting too much more of your precious time, here is my comprehensive list of what I felt was worth seeing from last year and why, along with my own personal non-bastardized Oscar presentations.

We’ll go from presentations down to number one just to make things interesting.

Let’s roll Billy Ho!

Best Actor

Russell Crowe (”The Insider”)
Kevin Spacey (”American Beauty”)
Nicolas Cage (”Bringing Out The Dead”)
Tom Cruise (”Eyes Wide Shut”)
Bruce Willis (”The Sixth Sense”)

People are going to want to hang me for this next one. Piss on ‘em! It’s my list.

Best Actress

Milla Jovovich (”The Messenger”)
Reese Witherspoon (”Election”)
Julia Roberts (”Notting Hill”)
Nicole Kidman (”Eyes Wide Shut”)

Best Supporting Actor

Tom Cruise (”Magnolia”)

No one else was anywhere near Tom in this category, so I will not waste time on listing them. He was robbed.

Best Supporting Actress

Melora Walters (”Magnolia”)
Emily Watson (”Cradle Will Rock”)
Diane Venora (”The Insider”)
Catherine Keener (”Being John Malkovich”)

Best Director

P.T. Anderson (”Magnolia”)
Stanley Kubrick (”Eyes Wide Shut”)
Luc Besson (”The Messenger”)
Michael Mann (”The Insider”)
Frank Darabont (”The Green Mile”)

Now to the meat and potatoes of the program.

Honorable Mention

“Bringing Out The Dead”
“Notting Hill”
“American Beauty”
“Blast From The Past”
“Payback”
“True Crime”

10. “The Mummy”

Without a doubt this is the movie that ranks as the most fun from the year gone by. Brendan Fraser is perfectly cast as the yutz who has to lead a contingent of naive Brits to the promised land of Hamunaptra. This was a film that I did not expect much of initially. Hell, the first time I saw it was at the Budget Theater! Since then it has grown on me. I find myself liking it more and more with each viewing. For me, that is reason enough to sneak it into my top ten.

9. “The World Is Not Enough”

Forget what you heard about Denise Richards as the Nuclear Engineer, or whatever else you may have heard that detracted from this film. Simply put: It is one of the best Bond films of all time. I would confidently place it in my Top Three alongside “Thunderball” and “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”. This provides all of the things we expect of Bond and takes them to another level at the same time. The boat chase during the pre-credit sequence easily ranks as the best action sequence of the year, if not the decade. On top of this, Brosnan finally seems to feel at home in the role of 007. He delivers one-liners with the same sort of non-chalantness that Sean Connery did. Plus Denise can practice fusion with me any time she wants.

8. “Being John Malkovich”

You wanna talk about originality. Hmmm….Let’s make a movie that revolves around people taking trips into John Malkovich’s mind 15 minutes at a time. Hell we’ll even sell passes! That is what you have in store for you if you take the trip that is “Being John Malkovich”. John Cusack and Cameron Diaz are barely physically recognizable in their roles as husband and wife. Completely original and blatantly hilarious, “Being John Malkovich” is a sure fire winner. I can’t remember the actor’s name, but he is the guy who plays Cusack’s senile boss. Anyway, that dude is hilarious, especially in the scene when he is lamenting the fact that his piss is orange from drinking too much carrot juice. Keep an eye out for him.

7. “The Green Mile”

I remember sitting alongside Dale as he cried like a baby for the last hour of this film. As I sat there I thought about how great the film must be to have that profound of an affect on someone. It did not touch me in quite the same way, but I did find it to be quite gripping nonetheless. Frank Darabont has outdone himself with this film. It’s a shame he doesn’t make more films, but at least when he does, he makes them of the utmost quality. All of the performances are done with an air of authenticity that lends a great amount of credibility to the story being told. Finally the scene of the failed electrocution was one of the most impactful scenes I have ever seen. Not for the faint of heart. That is a certainty.

6. “Cradle Will Rock”

Wow! What a pleasant surprise of a film this turned out to be. Tim Robbins once again proves himself to be one of greatest talents Hollywood has to offer with this directorial offering. It is the story of the play The Cradle Will Rock and the events surrounding it’s wayward path to being performed. The opening shot in this film is incredible, as it is one long take that lasts for seven minutes! Apparently Robbins was taking notes while on the set of Robert Altman’s “The Player”. The performances are all top shelf with notables being John Turturro, Hank Azaria and Emily Watson. Brilliantly filmed and masterfully put together “Cradle Will Rock” is a pure delight to behold. I felt compelled to stand up and applaud after the rousing conclusion to this film, even in the privacy of my own basement. Yes, it’s that good.

5. “Election”

What’s not to love about this film? You have the always adorable Reese Witherspoon playing the equally enviable and unbearable go-getter known as Tracy Flick. Matthew Broderick as Mr. McAllister, the teacher who gets a little too involved with the proceedings. A host of others round out the delightful cast of this witty little dark comedy that went largely unnoticed by the filmgoing community. Now you can make amends by going out and renting the number one comedy of 1999. For those of you who do, I foresee uncontrollable fits of laughter in your future.

4. “The Insider”

This movie really shocked me. As I said in my review, it’s one of those films that everybody told me was great, but I just really didn’t care at the time. Then the DVD came out, so twenty dollars left my wallet and the rest is history. Wow was the only word that came to mind after seeing this the first time. Shortly thereafter a whole question entered my mind: “What was I thinking?” Truly a film that needs to be seen to be believed. Russell Crowe sinks so deep into the character of Jeffrey Wigand that I am still trying to figure out how he got out in time to become General Maximus in “Gladiator”. Even Pacino is great for a change. He took a break from the overacting school to put together a performance worthy of his reputation. There is actually a moral center to his character for a change. It seems Michael Mann has a knack for bringing the best out of Pacino. First “Heat” and now “The Insider”. Every performance is dead on. Christopher Plummer is great, as is Diane Venora, and the list goes on and on. A beautiful film to watch. “The Insider” sinks the hooks in early and doesn’t let go until the final credits role.

3. “Eyes Wide Shut”

Thank goodness this wasn’t “Barry Lyndon” although to some people it exists in the same abyss, as the aforementioned. This film was sold as practically a late-night “Skinemax” feature by the media, when in reality it is a complex psychological study of the trust that exists in marriage and what it takes to maintain it. It also shows us what can happen when the boundaries of that trust are crossed. Visually this film is mesmerizing, as it languishes in a dreamlike state. Actions and the consequences of those actions are put under the microscope throughout the course of the film with the viewer left with their own interpretations and decisions to ponder as the closing credits roll. This film, along with the other constituents of the Top Three, had me locked me in so well that I found myself bolted into my seat as the credits came to an end. To me that is the mark of great filmmaking. Bravo Stanley. Thank you for one last showing of brilliance on your part. I will treasure it always.

2. “The Messenger”

Another film that took a lot of undo shit is “The Messenger”. I found this to be a truly captivating filmgoing experience. Luc Besson truly knows how to appeal to the viewer’s eye. The visuals in this film are so beautiful that mere words cannot describe them. In the past, I often said that I would give the award for cinematography to “Magnolia”, but now, after much reflection, I think that “The Messenger” is the one film truly deserving of such an honor. It is like watching a work of art come to life before your very eyes. Ms. Jovovich is spellbinding in the role of Joan. She has never had to show much range previously in her acting career, but with this performance she shows that she has all the necessary intangibles. She presents a depiction of a real life historical character (a very conflicted, strong-willed character) and breathes life into Joan, as she nails the performance to perfection. The only flaws this film may have are in the area of humor that is oftentimes misplaced, but after you watch the movie a couple of times you don’t even notice it anymore. This is one of the few films that actually brings me to tears. Powerful filmmaking to say the least.

1. “Magnolia”

Where do I begin? This movie is a tour de force of perfection in filmmaking. Not a single moment in this movie is flawed. Every last frame is captivating and meaningful. Every performance is sheer perfection. If there were a way to give out little gold guys to the entire cast, I would do it. Since I cannot do that, I will at least mention their names to give them some sort of recognition. Jason Robards as Earl Partridge, Phillip Baker Hall as Jimmy Gator, Melinda Dillon as Rose Gator, Melora Walters as Claudia Wilson Gator, William H. Macy as Donnie Smith, John C. Reilly as Jim Kurring, Julianne Moore as Linda Partridge, Henry Gibson as Thurston Howell, Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Phil Parma, Jeremy Blackman as Stanley Spector and last, but certainly not least, Tom Cruise as Frank T. J. Mackey. The stories of this motley crue of characters are masterfully woven together into a mesmerizing story of epic proportions. All of these people are having, for the most part, extremely shitty days. The sort of days we all hope we never have to go through. Director P.T. Anderson draws the maximum amount of emotion from his story by drawing out the tension in every scene to it’s absolute limit, as he builds towards the most shocking conclusion I have ever seen to a film. I salute P.T. for having the balls to conclude the film in the manner that he did. I can think of no other filmmaker who would have either the guts or the vision to realize it onscreen. I also salute Tom Cruise for delivering one of the best performances I have ever seen. A performance that manages to bring me to tears due to the incredible weight and power of the performance itself. Watch the bedside scene. Tell me you aren’t moved. You can’t. How he failed to receive the little gold guy is beyond me. On a final note. Kudos go out to the cast and crew for putting together the best film that has been released in the past thirty years: “Magnolia”.

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